Autism and a mother's love

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Wed, 24 Aug 2011 7:00p.m.

Alexander's mother is also his full-time carer

Alexander's mother is also his full-time carer

Like people, some stories fall outside the 'norm'. They defy comfortable labels like good or bad, dole bludger or hero, disabled or dangerous.

Alexander is 29, and autistic.

Whenever he goes out in public with his mum he's accompanied by a body guard for his own protection and the protection of those around him.

When at home, which is most of the time, Alexander needs constant supervision, every minute of every day he wants the reassurance that mum is near.

This is a story about a mother’s love and the value we place on caregivers.

Reporter John Sellwood spent the day with Alexander and Vicki.

Watch the video for the full report

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Comments

26 Aug 2011 07:35p.m.

Vicky Karatau wrote:

I sat down to watch your story on Alexander. I take my hat off to his mum what an awesome lady. I have a severely disabled 18 year old son who is wheelchair bound and totally dependant on us. You are on call 24hrs a day, 7 days a week, 365 days of the year. I cannot get fulltime employment because of this. Something needs to change. Where else can you get full time hospital care for free. I'snt it better for care to be provided by family who know these people better than anyone else and love them unconditionally, to be paid for the care they provide. I am sure these people if given the option would choose family before a complete stranger.

25 Aug 2011 03:54p.m.

Sharon wrote:

I have been looking after my 2 disabled bothers for over 10yrs now and have only this year become "eligible" for the care givers benefit. It's plain disgusting the worth we have to the government for the jobs we do. It doesn't matter if we do it for family loyalty or love we should be getting a decent wage for it. I myself get a whopping $200. a week caring for my brothers (which is based on my partners income) when an outside person would get a decent wage based on the hours of work they do, which wouldn't depend on their husbands, wives or partners income! Yes there is "help" out there in respite care but unless you know the good ones your likely to get the dodgy ones. Some years ago my younger brother was offered a "job" sorting nails and such by the IHC but he had to pay them a weekly sum of money to have the privilege to do this, safe to say they were turned down in that offer. Last year my younger brother was attending a day center for disabled Adults and broke his hip at one of their outings, which then the carer at the time decided to just drop him home where my brother was told to "get out of the car" before he left him there clutching our gate. This person got a formal warning and allowed to go back to work. So this government funded day center is full of untrained staff that a lot of should never be working in this area! And you can bet they are getting top wages!!

25 Aug 2011 03:29p.m.

Rebecca wrote:

I thought this Woman came across as so strong and caring. I was very moved when she said her boy was living in a blissful place. These people need our support and should be admired.

25 Aug 2011 01:06p.m.

Graeme ABLE SECURITY/care wrote:

We are looking after Alsey assisting his mother for 4 hours most days. They live life on the poverty line and frequently have tricky financial situations around basic foods & clothing, bills. The governmental support is great.It allows for respite and Alsey's exercise plan. He can be dangerous around public so needs specially qualified care, (jujitsu/judo trained care givers)

24 Aug 2011 11:19p.m.

JAM wrote:

A great story, parents like this deserve more help emotional& financial. We have alot to say in support of parent caregivers for their special needs children and we speak from experience. Its not easy & its not always by choice. My husband & i cannot both keep fulltime jobs as one of us needs to be on call for when our 5yr old special needs son goes missing from school, has last minute urgent medical appointments & all his other special needs med appointments/surgeries in general. Our son needs constant supervision & just his own personal care alone & continuous washing are growing..but he is our son at the end of the day&we know no one will care for him as well as us. It is tiring, it is hard work, it is very expensive. Parents of our special needs children regardless of how old they are should not have to rely on winz for help or assistance but should be receiving financial help directly from the Ministry of Health or a organization set up for this purpose. We should not be made to feel like dole bludgers or scum. We provide 24hour care 7days a week for our children, especially when you have a child that will get up at 1,2,3 or 4am in the morning to go out of the house for a walkabout or just wants to get up to mischief. We know this is our life. But the parents need help too. Alexander is very lucky to have a great,awesome Mum.

24 Aug 2011 08:39p.m.

Sandy wrote:

This Item really moved me ( brought me to tears) after working in the industry for 10yrs this mother needs to be commeded. I provided support services to people like alexander and his mum and after so many year's and with all the red tape and not being able to provide what was actually needed i decided that I needed to find a new direction....now I am in elderly care not alot different but hey its in my blood to help people so as long as blood runs through my veins this is whay I will do Sandy