And then, they play this video:

The man in the video is Phua Chu Kang (PCK for short). He’s a renowned local television character - a yellow industrial boot-wearing contractor with a massive mole on his chin who has somehow been chosen to represent Singapore’s everyday person. He’s in this video as part of the nationwide Kindness Movement. This is when citizens are reminded to be, well, kind and gracious and generally wonderful human beings.

My visiting Kiwi mates were tickled to find that there is actually a campaign to instruct Singaporeans on what seems like very basic inclinations. The campaign even has a mascot - a lion that we kept bumping into, placed with signs that gave incredibly helpful suggestions on how you could play your part in being kind.

Examples?

It is good to volunteer your time at non profit organisations.

Please give way to other drivers.

It’s considerate to place library books in book bins after reading.

Please allow others to alight before boarding the train.

So maybe sometimes these practices could not be emphasised enough, particularly when someone refuses to get out of the way while you are trying to get off a train and they are trying to get on (and meanwhile the speaker plays the message “Doors closing, te te te te te!” Everyone goes into mild panic. I tell you, it’s a harrowing situation). But the amusing part of this campaign is that it gives the average Singaporean detailed instructions in a manner that seems very infantile, especially when one thinks: aren’t these parts of common knowledge and basic courtesy? (Whether they choose to comply or not is another matter, of course.) Who are these signs for? Seven-year-olds?

Yet this is the way I remember that Singapore has always done things. Back in the day, the population was growing at a fast pace and campaigns were run to suggest that “2 [children] is enough” (as opposed to the typical 8 or 9 and above brood of offspring). However, now that the aging population is coupled with a low birth rate, the government is scrambling to give out what they term ‘baby bonuses’ to those who would happily procreate. Now the message is more than 2, please! Their message may have changed, but the approach hasn’t.

Even in secondary school, there were the mandatory classes of Social Studies and Civics and Moral Education. In short, Social Studies taught you about how great your country was, and Civics and Moral Education was about how to be a Good Person. I remember the Social Studies teacher, in an effort to get us to participate, asked an open question: “The government does…?”

“Brainwashing?” I had offered. Even the teacher laughed, before she recomposed her stoic expression.

Brainwashing, propaganda, whatever you call it, I think it works, but in the most ironic ways. The other day, like many other days, I got on the train, unhooked the spongy tassels of some lady’s poncho off my bracelet (also cursing about why someone would wear a poncho in this weather) and leaned away from some man’s open armpit as he slouched far too close into my personal space. And somehow my mouth, as if disjointed from the rest of my body and mind, was humming “A happy journey… starts! Like! That! A happy journey… starts! Like! That!”