British midwife calls for end to pain relief during childbirth

20 Sep 2010 01:30a.m.

Selina wrote:

I feel EXTREMELY angry about this! Many women have terrible labours, for them I have a lot of empathy! I have felt the pain of a bad labour and believe me I have suffered trauma. Some women are lucky and have it easier than others. When my baby came out, all I had was gas and air. I was offered an epidural but I could not think for myself, every thought I had in my brain was concentrated on the pain. I had turned into a child who could not think for myself. I could not see myself coming out of this alive. I had a very dry birth. I was in stirrups for hours because i could not hold my legs up. My clitoral area had ripped and I did not know this, the pain of the contractions were so much worse. As a man you will never know the pain some women will go through and as a man, you don't even have the right to make a comment!!!
Talking about bonding..... i didn't have the strength to hold on to my baby who was just 4 pound 2, she didn't see me until the day after. I was left on my own asleep because i had passed out with the pain. Im sure that did more damage to my bond with my child. If i had had an epidural, I could have held onto her and breastfed. You are treading on thin ground and I think you should not be working in the field you are in if this is how you feel!

09 Apr 2010 02:35p.m.

Jenny wrote:

I'm sorry but this kind of blanket statement re childbirth is a joke!
I felt manipulated out of using pain relief by the midwives for my 4840gm huge baby at Wellington hospital. Midwives have lost the plot when they dictate to their "sisters" how they should give birth when that was the very problem with the old school medical model of delivery.
It reminds me of "Animal Farm" There needs to be more power given back to the birthing mother.

16 Jul 2009 12:32p.m.

Avon wrote:

Wow, it is really sad to see how negatively so many women view childbirth! I was lucky enough to have a mother with really positive stories to tell me about giving birth, and to have watched her give birth at home to my 2 younger sisters with midwife and GP attendance. So when I had kids, I planned homebirths, and really prepared myself for the immensely challenging task of giving birth. So yes, although giving birth is so unbelievably challenging you can't even describe it, giving birth to my two kids was the highlight of my life!! I would not give up that experience for anything. I felt really safe and respected in my own comfortable space, with the love of family all around me. And it left me with the sense that I COULD DO ANYTHING! What an awesome way for a woman to feel as she embarks on the massive new role of motherhood! I was so blown away by the whole experience that I am now in my first year of training as a midwife, LOVING it, and learning heaps about the science behind labour pain, experience and bonding. When women feel private, safe, and not 'watched' their labours go better and they feel less pain. The same applies when they are active, upright, and spontaneous, or in water. How many people feel this way in the bright lights of a busy hospital? It is really sad that so many women go through labour in intense pain lying on their backs in an unfamiliar place without preparation or the support they need - under those circumstances I'm amazed anyone manages to give birth without drugs!! But it doesn't have to be that way. When you are in the right environment with the right frame of mind, your body's own hormones and painkillers keep things manageable and giving birth can be both painful, intense, challenging and absolutely wonderful. The cocktail of hormones you and your baby experience after a drug-free birth 'prime' you to fall in love with eachother in a way that cannot be repeated at any other time ever, though this does not mean there aren't other times and ways of bonding later

16 Jul 2009 02:14a.m.

frances wrote:

I do not agreed we should leave our body up to a professional to decide for us how much pain we could tolerate! I had my 1st boy 13yrs ago- my specialist prefer "all natural" so I had NO pain killer AT ALL. When I had my 2nd boy 10yrs ago-I was frightened to death from the previous trauma and pain- I changed a specialist that would listen to my request- I had the pain killer as early as I could get! All these years, my older boy always ask me why I love younger bro more? I tried very very hard to be as fair as I could- but I know deep down I have stronger bond with my 2nd child. Guess as a mother- when u know u are not gonna have any more baby- u will tend to "baby" the youngest one more! Soooo pain or no pain I don't think has got anything to do with "bonding"!

15 Jul 2009 06:49p.m.

Emma wrote:

Hi, I have 2 school aged children and great bonds with them both my first I didnt want pain releif and got it and my second I wanted pain relief and was unable to have due to her very short time before arrival.
I believe firmly that it is not upto a professional to sit in judgement specially one that is unable to go through labour HIMSELF to tell a woman she should just go with the pain as the bonding is better.
However if we choose not to take pain relief the midwife in charge or l.m.c should nto talk us into it (as was the case with my first) but if we ask for it we should be given that choice.

15 Jul 2009 12:40p.m.

Laura wrote:

Yes I had the drugs for the pain with my first child and it was the best thing for me but I have to say that I did bond with my first child, with my other two girls I went without them and it was very painfull those who have not had a child or it has been too long for them to remeber what the pain is like need to listen to the ones who are in pain. I do love all of my girls but if I had the time to get the drugs with my two younger ones I would have done so.
Laura

15 Jul 2009 12:28p.m.

Rochelle wrote:

I am a young mother (22) of two little boys andI had problems which probly would have killed both me and my boys if I had not been able to get high tech medical scans and monitoring, I think to take that away and take away pain relief would not be a good idea at all. it should be an indervidual choice to have this not a one size fits all!!

15 Jul 2009 04:10a.m.

John wrote:

Overcoming fears is vitally important for us men as well as women, and the fear of rejection from a baby and not bonding properly must be a huge trauma to overcome. I agree that older maturer Mums are not taken account of properly and I greatly admire Lord Winston and all the hard work he does in facilitating older couples facing the ringing chimes of the ruthless tick-tocking of the biological clock find IVF fertility treatment and success at birthing. Of course psychotherapists often counsel people suffering heartfelt pain to go throiugh the mental mill again and re-live their rebirthing process. Therefore Mum-babe bonding is even more vital than Babe-Dad bonding although as a guy who would like to become a father or step-father I really admire the loving couple in the news clip who truely shared the magical tender intimate beauty of the birth process of their child. Fathers should get involved and watch and really embrace parenthood.

As for male or female theories on birth I respect Brenda's views and would thoroughly support freedom of choice and a non dogmatic subjective approach. If People want a Caveman or "cavegirl" system of treatment to really feel the pain I will be there and stand mu ground with them, but if they prefer pain relief and high tech support I will press for Governmental action to give them hope and all the resources that politicians can provide. I do hold my hands up for skilled mid-wifes though as they have a lot of valuable insight. GROMIT 2

15 Jul 2009 01:46a.m.

Lani wrote:

How typical that a man should step up and say that women shouldn't be using pain meds during labour. Who does this guy think he is? I agree with Brenda...it's up to us what happens with our bodies. If we want the drugs then we're going to damn well have them. There is no scientific evidence to support this nonsense about bonding - just a claim from a person who (unfortunetly) will never know the excrutiating pain of childbirth.

14 Jul 2009 11:06p.m.

brenda wrote:

The midwife system we have in NZ should be abolished. It may be less complicated giving birth when the mother is younger, but after 30, as in my case, there are complications and we need a doctor, not a midwife! I went with the system for my first child (a very traumatic birthing experience which I blame on the system) and my secons I went private and choose elective C-SECTION (which was bliss). The trauma and pain during the first birth was so acute that there was no bonding with the baby for a few months whereas the second one was great. From my own experience I definitely disagree that pain during childbirth makes for a strong bond. In fact it is the other way round!!! They say to little knowledge is as babd as none. Midwifes are not qualified doctors and do not have all the knowledge nor are they empowered to issue certain prescriptions that may be required. Women in labour are not animals in the slaughter house! It is our body and we have the right to choose. We are not living in stone age and as science develops every aspect of our life gets comfortable, so why should a birthing woman be deprived of this?