By Ally Mullord
The internet is littered with Valentine’s Day advice, most of which is some permutation of “make everything-heart shaped, then get drunk”.
Well. For those of you who aren’t comfortable scattering candy hearts through their beloved’s underwear drawer and would rather not spend all of the day after Valentine’s scooping rose petals out of the bath, here are a few practical – yet still romantic – suggestions for last-minute romance.
Buy a gift that isn’t heart-shaped
Valentine’s Day is usually an avalanche of chocolates and flowers and teddies and various bits of heart-shaped paraphernalia. Wouldn’t it be nice if, instead of loading you up with chocolates and soft toys, your Valentine bought you that multi-tool you’ve been hinting about every time you drive past a Bunnings? Exactly. Making a card instead of buying one is also a fairly low-effort way to say, “I have put some effort into this”.
Have a Special Meal
The Special Meal is a classic fixture of Valentine’s Day advice, probably because it can be adapted to fit your budget and preference.
A major feature of the Special Meal should be leaving your phone, laptop and iPad inside; it’s not romantic to check your Facebook.
Top three Special Meals:
- Candle-lit dinner, outside: ten percent more fancy than a traditional candlelit dinner, not to mention more romantic. If you can cook, do; if you can’t cook, order takeaways. For bonus points, make personalised fortune cookies with suitably romantic fortunes tucked inside them.
- Romantic breakfast: ideal if you’re both going to work but want to start the day off in a style both romantic and nutritious. Depending on time, ideas can range from ‘muesli with heart-shaped drizzle of yoghurt’ to ‘hand-crafted heart-shaped pancakes’. (A note on heart-shaped pancakes: they’re not as easy as they look, so make sure your Valentine doesn’t mind the odd butt-shaped pancake.)
- Picnic: perfect for lunch, especially if you can pick your Valentine up from work and take them to a secluded spot.
Have flowers or chocolates delivered to their work
This is the oldest idea ever, but look at it this way: you aren’t just giving them flowers and chocolate, you’re giving them the jealousy of their entire workplace and a smugness that will last well into next week.
Singing telegrams, though, step over the line from “romantic” into “embarrassing” and should be avoided.
Make a book of '50 Reasons I Love You'
This is good because you determine how cheesy it is. Buy a notebook (a nice one, not a 1B5) and write a different reason you love your valentine on every page. Note: not recommended if you’ve been dating for less than a month, comes on a little strong.
It’s easy, relatively quick, and very cheap – but be prepared for the last 20 reasons to be somewhat B-grade as you begin to run out of ideas (“I love you because you usually remember to stack the dishwasher with the cutlery blades-up”).
To take it to the next level, draw a picture of you and your Valentine on every fifth page: as well as demonstrating your artistic side, this cuts down the number of reasons you have to think of.
Recreate your first date
As long as your first date wasn’t the “drunken hookup at a party” kind of date, recreating it can be a nice trip down memory lane. Not recommended if you’ve been dating for less than three months, as you risk looking uncreative instead of romantic.
Get a group of friends together
If you tend to start muttering “Bloody commercialised Hallmark rubbish” on around February 10, use Valentine’s Day as an occasion to get together with some other couples. Go out for a group meal, have a games night, or just organise a house party. Not only are you filling in your Valentines, you’re also making it easy for your friends to avoid having to do anything romantic.
Do something you've never done before
Make Valentine’s Day properly memorable by doing something you and your Valentine have never done before. Go salsa dancing, go to a quiz night, watch a sunrise together. Have a bubble bath. Check into a hotel under different names. Wear a horse costume. Fight over who has to be the back legs. It’ll be the most memorable Valentine’s ever!
Plan a weekend getaway
Especially this year, when Valentine’s Day is on a Tuesday and consuming the appropriate amount of champagne and chocolate would require time off work afterwards, a weekend getaway gives you time out with your valentine.
This gets slightly hazardous if you both decide to be spontaneous and surprise the other one with a romantic weekend – on the same weekend.
Propose
They’ll never see it coming!
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