Courtney Love is still angry with husband Kurt Cobain for taking his own life and abandoning her and their daughter, insisting she'd "kill him" if she had the chance.
The Nirvana rocker committed suicide in April, 1994, leaving Love alone to care for their daughter Frances Bean.
She admits she was left to clean up his messy financial struggles and pick up the pieces of his shattered life, while trying to be a mum.
In a new Vanity Fair interview, she says, "If he (Cobain) came back right now I'd have to kill him, for what he did to us. I'd f**king kill him. I'd f**k him, and then I'd kill him.
"He tried to kill himself three times! He OD'd (overdosed) at least five times. I was the f**king E.M.S. (Emergency Medical Services). I was always sticking pins in his balls. I carried around (life-saving drug for heroine users) Narcan!"
Love is still reeling with guilt over the failed relationship with her estranged daughter Frances Bean Cobain, insisting she'd "give anything" to repair their bond.
The singer and Kurt welcomed Frances in 1992 but the tot was placed in protective custody due to Love's long-running drug problems and, upon reaching her 18th birthday, she filed for emancipation from her mother.
Love now laments in Vanity Fair she still feels responsible for failing her daughter as a parent, noting the young girl didn't learn to read until she was seven and she was often teased by fellow schoolchildren who called her "crack baby".
She says, "It was my fault! I never read to her...! Why didn't I ever take her to a Broadway show? She f**king loved those Broadway musicals! All I can feel is how much I love her. I'd give anything to hear the sound of her heels walking down the hall past my bedroom."
And Love adds she was particularly heartbroken when she came across Frances' diary, and discovered she wasn't on her daughter's "Things That Make Me Happy" list.
She continues, "Why am I not on it? Why doesn't she put 'watching old movies with my mum'?"
WENN.com