Fri, 02 Sep 2011 4:21p.m.
By James Murray
I write from the chilly confines of the Zambesi bar at the Pullman hotel, on the verge of sampling the much heralded Zamboozi.
In fact it has now just arrived. A tall frosty glass, with what looks like old-fashioned lemonade garnished with a sprig of rosemary. It’s actually gin with elderflower.
Rather amusingly I have just been spotted by the Editor at Large of the AAP, not quite sure what impression writing a cocktail review gave him!
Fashion Week is nearly over and this year’s least experienced fashion blogger is about to sign off. Here are some thoughts from an outsider.
1) Why do the models all clap themselves when they do the final walk together down the catwalk?
2) Where else do people walk by putting one foot directly in front of the other.*
3) The more time you spend at Fashion Week the more likely you are to want to wear something bonkers. Normally, I would turn my back at the prospect of wearing tartan while holding a gingerbread man teddy, but now I’m not so sure. Maybe I could pull it off at home in the garden?
4) Getting in to Fashion Week does not mean you are automatically plied with free booze and food. I have had one free cocktail, a free orange fruitburst, three fun-sized bags of cereal and a small bottle of still mineral water.
5) Make up on men, when done right, actually looks quite good. I plan to wear it to the office next week.
6) You can sound knowledgeable about anything in fashion to someone else who doesn’t know what they are talking about by using the following words and phrases: lines, cut, use of colour, tailoring, knit and “of course everything being shown here is for their Winter 2012 collections, it’s a commercial thing”.
7) This doesn’t work if you are talking to someone who actually knows about fashion.
8) If you are talking to Colin Mathura-Jeffree compliment him on his luminous suit, canvas cap, (insert other out of this world fashion item).
9) Why do we need a television programme for people to become a model? If you are striking looking, have a good body, can walk in high heels with a bit of a wiggle and possess the sort of self confidence needed to take yourself seriously when you are posing like you’ve just touched an electric fence then just walk into your local modelling agency and hand them some photos.
10) You queue longer than some fashion shows last.
I did enjoy myself though, it made a change from being a news-hound all week and the people from Stolen Girlfriends Club and RUBY who I had direct involvement with were charming.
Signing off.
*On tightropes