Hip Hip, Hoo .. Oh, never mind, that’ll do

Never before has Kiwi sport basked in the glory of drawing a game. The idea that we can simply go out there, try our hardest and see what happens has snaked its way back into the mentality of all sports people and couch potatoes alike: a win is no longer as essential as giving it a red hot go.

We Kiwis are quite good at winning stuff. We don’t play anything for fun, we play so we can be the best. And in a lot of sporting events, we are. Rowing. Kayaking. Softball. Shot put. And on a good year rugby, sevens and netball. The Land of the Long White Cloud, a tiny blip at the bottom of the radar, is represented at the top of the sporting table more often than any other nation in the world per capita (maybe). We are just plain awesome.

Kids as young as six are encouraged to try their hardest and have fun in their chosen sports, but are spurred on (read, screamed at) from the sidelines when a ball is dropped or a goal missed. Winning is what we do best (or, in the case of the Black Caps, what we want to do best).

On the contrary, you wouldn’t see the entire country banding together in support for an All Blacks team that routinely draws games, would you? No, you bloody well wouldn’t. In fact, I watched an All Blacks game in a Wellington a couple of weekends ago, and when Wales inched ahead early on in the first half, I had to watch my head for fear a beer bottle might be thrown at the screen, despite the All Blacks winning convincingly overall. Based on that reaction, if the All Blacks were to draw a game with anyone, no matter how hard-fought and bloody the game was, there’d be sudden cause for concern that half the nation would top themselves. Sure, we might be more supportive of a draw between the Kiwis and Kangaroos if the game itself was half decent, and a draw in the cricket means that we didn’t lose the darn thing, but overall, draws aren’t exactly ideal.

Until the All Whites made it to the World Cup. 

Not only are Kiwis now unanimously applauding non-wins, we’re united as a nation in the absolute support of a team that, until very recently, no one gave a damn about. Football? Don’t we call it soccer here? And who plays that fancy-pants sport anyway? Rugger is where it’s at in good ol’ Nu Zuland.

Well, apparently not. According to some sort of poll last week, the general public cares far more about the All Whites’ games than the All Blacks’. Move over Richie and clear a space for Ryan, Rory and the boys.

It’s a miracle that the All Whites even made it onto the World Cup pitch let alone scored points against teams well above them in the world rankings. It’s a double miracle that they didn’t lose a game. It would’ve been a miracle beyond belief if they’d won against Paraguay. But despite the final result, we still came from behind and beat the pants off the rest of the world who looked at New Zealand on the draw and thought, “Oh bless ‘em for giving it a go.”

A few weeks ago my social indoor netball team won a game 26-25. It was the tightest game we’ve played all season. The only reason we actually came away with the win was because the opposition scored a goal right on the fulltime buzzer and the automatic scoring system wouldn’t allow their point. As a goal shooter, I was stoked we came away with the win, but I would’ve been only a smidgeon less stoked if the final point had been allowed. It was a great game. They deserved the draw. They certainly didn’t deserve to win, because obviously we’re better than them, but they deserved the draw nonetheless.

So where has this soft-cock attitude come from? When did we start basking in the glow of mediocrity? And why did the nation get so behind a team that, based on history, stats and the fact that we’re rated 78th in the world for crying out loud, really shouldn’t have achieved much at all? Well, quite simply, it’s this: for once, we were literally the absolute underdogs, the little guys, the team least likely to get anywhere fast. Now, I know that we’re sometimes perceived as underdogs in other sports, but deep down we also know that we actually could come away with a win. The All Whites are different. Judging by the stats, we shouldn’t have scored points let alone draw with the world champions. The All Whites are the definition of underdog, and after proving the sceptics wrong by just getting into the World Cup, then holding a bunch of losses at arm’s length, the boys did us proud, if only by the skin of their teeth.

Winning? Meh. Not so important these days.

Three cheers for mediocrity! Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip .. Oh, never mind, that’ll do.