Tue, 01 Dec 2009 12:16p.m.
Gym Buddy rang me a few days ago.
Him: “I’ve fallen off the wagon a little bit. I didn’t go to the gym at all yesterday.”
Me: “Oh, don’t worry, GB – tomorrow’s a new day!”
Him: “Well, the reason I didn’t go to the gym was because *cough* I went to KFC instead. And it was amazing. I went to sleep with that sweet bloaty feeling in my stomach. Ahhhh, bliss. You don’t think Vann will mind, do you?”
Me: “Umm, no *cough*.. I’m sure he’ll be fine *ahem*..”
This week I really hit the wall. If you’re a budding gym bunny like me I’m sure you know what I mean. You get all excited and you run and you run and you run and you feel amazing and love life and exercise and running, and then all of a sudden you stop dead in your tracks because someone’s plonked a ginormous brick wall in the middle of the road and no matter how hard you try you just can’t run through it or around it or over it. Well, that happened to me. Much like Simon Pegg in
Run Fatboy Run, except hopefully I look better in spandex than he does.
It had all started amazingly. It was a glorious day and I had just walked along Takapuna Beach a couple of times, paddling in the tropical-looking water and imagining I was on holiday on a deserted island somewhere. I rocked up to the gym all smiles and glowing and hair all wild from the sun and sea air. I was ready for anything.
Vann put me on the rowing machine first to warm up. I’ve still got blisters on my hands from a few weeks ago, although now they’ve turned into calluses which aren’t very sexy at all. But I’ve mostly got over that – it’s all part of the cost of hotness, you know.
Still with a spring in my step I bounced downstairs to the weights room. Bring it on. I can do this. It’s going to be a piece of cake.
“Right Erin. 21, 15, 9. Dead lifts and burpies. GO.”
Cue record scratch and perfect picture smashing into a quazillion pieces. “Umm, hold up – what?”
“21, 15, 9. 21 dead lifts followed by 21 burpies followed by 15 dead lifts followed by 15 burpies followed by ..”
“OK, OK – I get the picture.”
“Right, then – GO!”
“But I hate burpies! And I really suck at them! 21? In a row? You’ve got to be kidding me! Please be kidding me!”
“Does this look like a kidding face?”
“Ahh, well – no, I suppose not ..”
“Well, what are you waiting for then? 3 – 2 – 1 – GO!”
And so I glared at Vann for that split second longer than necessary, giving him time to jump on in there at the very last minute and say “HAHA don’t worry, Erin, I was totally kidding – let’s just go and get coffee instead” but he didn’t. So I got down and did my first burpie. And it was heinous.
I think it took me more than 17 minutes or something equally ridiculous to finally finish my final burpie. And Vann, bless his soul, did such a good job at trying to encourage me, but all I wanted to do was punch his head in. (I didn’t.)
They say that the biggest thing that stands in the way of success is your mind. Well, I’m not exactly sure who “they” is but they’re pretty spot on. Take it from me: once your mind is good, your body will be good too. My mind just sucked and as a result I sucked. And it felt awful.
So awful, in fact, that I had a wee cry when Vann wasn’t looking (although I know he knows that the tears leaked and blended with the sweat pouring out of me). That night I went to a BBQ and had five delicious barbequed sausages in white bread *gasp* with tomato sauce and I didn’t even feel guilty.
My homework for this week was to work on my nutrition. Aside from the sausages (which one of my BBQ buddies pointed out to me were only 68% meat), I also drank a whole bunch of alcohol, which is actually a big deal for me because I don’t drink, chased down with a steak pie, and had greasy fish and chips for lunch on Sunday. Woops.
This week I am on a much better roll and am in a far better state of mind. Yesterday afternoon I went to my very first Body Pump class and absolutely loved it! So far I’ve tried Pump, Step and Attack, and Pump wins hands down. The others involve so much coordination and skill (both of which I just don’t have), whereas in Pump all you need to be able to do is lift a bar with some weights on it. Depending, of course, on how heavy those weights are, that I can do.
And my nutrition has dramatically picked up since last week too. No more bread. No more sausages. No more pies. No more anything that is going to jeopardise my quest for hotness. I’m now just over halfway there and it’s time to get serious.
What I’m reading:
Women’s Health magazine. Truly inspirational stuff.
What I’m watching: “A Christmas Carol.” Whoever said this movie was for kids has something seriously wrong with them. It’s incredibly scary! And in 3D it’s even scarier!
What I’m looking forward to: Going to Australia on a wee holiday with friends in March. Hopefully there’ll be more sun then than there is now!
What I’m dreading: Moving house the week before Christmas. Craziness, I know.
What’s made me happy this week: Frozen berries. They’re just like lollies except good for you!
What’s really annoyed me this week: Junk food and takeaways are so much cheaper than food that’s actually good for you, so in this current financial climate, people are getting fatter.