Wed, 01 Jun 2011 9:00a.m.
I have decided that blog comments are like mushrooms - they spring up overnight and some are delicious, some are weird, some are rather poisonous and if you’re lucky you can get one in your shower!
No wait that’s just mushrooms.
Most of the comments are lovely* and say things like “This blog has changed my life” and “My goodness aren’t you pretty”, but every so often they say “this is not newsworthy, find something better to write about”. Those comments make me afraid that my vast contribution to the world of news will go unrecognised... so today we are having some hardcore investigative journalism.
Potato chip journalism.
Last week I received a press release about the launch of four new flavours of potato chips. You wouldn’t normally see “BREAKING NEWS: Rashuns slightly more bacony” on the front page of the paper (or anything), but the chipmakers had seen fit to send a release and so I thought, “These chips must be exciting”. I was not wrong.
Each flavour of chip had tasting notes from last year's MasterChef winner, complete with dip and wine matches.
Wine matches! I don’t know about you, but I often find myself standing bewildered in the snack food aisle, dithering over whether Merlot or Shiraz is the better match for Cheezels.
(Merlot.)
It’s important to provide a balanced view when you’re journalisming, so I have done my own tasting notes - the press release is quoted in italics.
Lime and Black Pepper
These deliciously different chips are infused with freshly ground black peppercorns, then balanced with the tangy zing of fresh lime.
How do you infuse something with a peppercorn? Maybe that’s the deliciously different part.
I can’t stop saying ‘tangy zing’. Go on, say it.
It’s a flavour that at first gets you thinking about what it could be exactly, yet becomes more apparent after the second taste.
“What could this be? The flavour… it’s so… oh bugger it I’m just going to look at the packet.”
Sea Salt
The light grinding of fresh sea salt on these chips lifts and enhances the flavour of freshly-cooked potatoes.
The salty potato tastes more like a potato than the regular potato - ancient Chinese saying
I think this style of crisp lends itself to a pesto style dip… you could also use ingredients such as watercress to give the chip a kiwi taste.
Ah yes! That classic Kiwi ingredient, watercress.
To be honest, these could be eaten with anything!
Except a spoon.
The release suggested these were best paired with a Pinot Gris. I did not have a Pinot Gris, but found the salty depth of the chippies perfectly offset by the bright crispness of a 2010-vintage lemonade.
Sweet Chilli and Sour Cream
This flavour blends the subtle kick of chillies and paprika with the smooth tanginess of sour cream… the sweetness counteracts the chilli for a beautifully balanced taste.
Quite! The creamy sourness of the sour cream perfectly balances the sweetness and chilli of the sweet chilli. It's like the chilli and the sour cream see-saw in a playground of flavour.
Although if you get an off-balance chip it’ll be like Sour Cream has just jumped off the seesaw on the up-swing, leaving Sweet Chilli to crash to the ground on your tongue.
These would be great with something fresh and zingy.
“Word-A-Day calendar produces ‘zingy’ on Chip Review Day.”
Honey Soy Chicken
A harmonious blend of sweet and salty flavours, these chips combine subtle soy sauce notes with the sweet liveliness of real honey
Sweet, lively and subtle, these are indeed the Pippa Middleton’s Arse of crisps.
I love a reduced cream or sour cream dip with this style of crisp. The chip itself carries a lot of flavour so you don’t want to lose this, but complement it, with a dip.
To even consider masking the exquisite taste of this chip with a dip is an insult to its creator! The warm honey notes would merely be stifled by the inclusion of reduced cream, and the chicken flavour swamped by – oh for heaven’s sake.
The notes recommend a nutty Chardonnay but I have given up and am going to have a beer.
*even the ones that say, “This is childish and shallow”. I love how people think I'm not aware of this. I write the blog!