New Zealanders need to discuss suicide - Expert

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Sat, 04 Dec 2010 5:32p.m.

Omar says this is proof that trying to hide the fact that a suicide's occurred isn't working

Omar says this is proof that trying to hide the fact that a suicide's occurred isn't working

By Kim Choe

An expert in youth suicide prevention says New Zealanders need to talk about the issue more openly, or more families will suffer.

His comments come amid reports that 10 young Pacific Islanders killed themselves in South Auckland last month, and the suburb of Papakura tries to cope with losing three young children as a result of self harm.

Papakura marae has become the focal point for families struggling to come to terms with the sudden deaths of their children.

“These mothers thought they were good mothers, and providing care and assistance, and they thought they had a good relationship with their children. They were absolutely horrified when they found out what their child had done,” says marae chairman Brian Joyce.

Two 12-year-old girls and one 10-year-old boy have died in the past few weeks after harming themselves - one of the girls after being sent a text message encouraging her to do so. Affected families have been talking to the community - something the marae hopes will prevent any more tragedies.

“When the father addressed the students, he said, look at the grief my daughter has caused all of us. All of us. Not only the parents, but the whole school, her friends. This is not what we want our children to inflict upon us. You don't realise the effects that you may have upon your community, upon your families, upon your school when you participate in these sorts of acts,” says Mr Joyce.

It's this discussion that a youth suicide prevention specialist from the University of Kentucky says is crucial. He says if the community avoids talking about it, the likelihood of further suicides increases.

“If we talk about the consequences and explain to them how terrible it is - the sadness, the loss of life, the grieving on the part of the families and classmates, they're less likely to commit it,” says Adolescent Medicine Specialist Professor Hatim Omar.

New Zealand's youth suicide rates are the highest in the developed world, with nearly 16 deaths per 150,000 15 to 19-year-olds - more than twice the average rate for all developed countries.

Omar says this is proof that trying to hide the fact that a suicide's occured isn't working.

“Does anybody honestly who wants to keep it quiet, believe that a student, a 14-year-old in a school, who lost a classmate to suicide, doesn't know that this kid died from suicide?”

His call for more openness is in line with the Chief Coroner's comments in August that if media reporting restrictions were relaxed, more families could be spared the anguish of losing their children.

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Comments

23 Dec 2010 02:18a.m.

Marwan wrote:

Twisted.. Hey bro, I feel desperately bad for you, that you should feel this way at all. Is there anything in particular that makes you feel miserable, has something bad happened to you or is it just a general feeling of despair and that life is not worth living. I believe that there is always a reason that we feel the way we do, even if at times we can't put our finger on it....

Find someone that you can talk to that you trust and whom won't judge you. All the best

05 Dec 2010 10:16a.m.

katrina wrote:

Maybe there should be a minimum age for having a cell phone. Does a 12 year old really need a cell phone? I don't believe so. i believe cell phones - texting etc are doing more harm than good.

05 Dec 2010 09:12a.m.

Twisted wrote:

The article states that New Zealanders need to discuss suicide. I make a logical discussion and you don't allow my comment to be published. Typical, I thought you were better than that.

04 Dec 2010 09:37p.m.

Star wrote:

This is so true, ive known people who have seriously hurt themselves and there parents had no idea or unconsciously ignored the fact something wasn't right until it almost ended in tragedy. Ive been to hospital mulitple times, ive realized (in particular auckland) people pretend they dont know, like nothings wrong, as if thed rather not have to deal with it. Sometimes it would just be nice for someone to say "hey are you alright" people dont know the positive power those simple words can have...

04 Dec 2010 08:12p.m.

Twisted wrote:

As a youth who has thought about suicide, I don't think explaining the consequences is helpful at all. Assuming we don't think about that? I do, I do a lot. Which makes it harder for me personally... because at the end of the day, we're still unhappy with our life and we shouldn't have to live just to make others happy, while we suffer ourselves. It's kinda like putting down an animal in pain... Re-enforcing the consequences is like re-enforcing that we should keep living miserably. I don't know about others, but a psychologist trying to convince me it gets better when I can't see it myself isn't helpful either.