By Michael Oliver
Steve Williams doesn’t owe us anything.
He doesn’t owe us an explanation. He doesn’t owe us an apology. He doesn’t need to contextualise, or disseminate his thought processes for the hoi polloi at home.
Steve Williams doesn’t have to do a goddamn thing. He’s done it all for us.
When the infamous caddy—perhaps the most famous assistant since Waylon Smithers—called his former boss a “black a***hole,” he was labelled a racist.
After all, “a***hole” is nobody’s pick for Endearment of the Year. And by throwing in “black,” he may as well have invited the Grim Reaper into his career for tea.
What followed was a blur of outrage that curried favour with the “Something’s Got To Be Done!” brigade. Williams needed to be fired, fined, sued, sunk, and sent to caddy ProAms with Wall Street execs forever amen.
But most of all, he needed to explain himself. What diabolical misfortune could befall such a man that he’d say unto Queen and Country (club) … that thing… that he said.
He apologised profusely, because that was the right thing to do. Public relations 101 teaches us to admit our wrongs, say we’re sorry, and wait patiently for something else to badger the news cycle.
And this will inevitably happen to Steve Williams. So long as he doesn’t offer a few choice thoughts on other cultural touchstones, he’ll live to walk another green.
But we would be foolish to let this episode skirt by without a thought. The story is ripe for analysis.
Where the comments were uttered is perhaps the most important consideration.
Williams was receiving the much-lauded “Celebration of the Year” award at the annual caddy knees up in Shanghai. He wasn’t appearing before Parliament, but he wasn’t chugging a kegger either. He was somewhere where he could reasonably expect some level of scrutiny.
He was also under the impression Chatham House Rules were in play. But in an age where even the most boorish of Twitterings line column space, he should’ve known all speech comes with a price.
Recent history should be acknowledged too. We’re at pains to forget Steve and Tiger’s messy breakup. He was, after all, a close confidant to the biggest sportsperson in the world. And their story hangs heavy over every thing Steve Williams has ever done, and will do, in golf.
The sum of all those fears amounts to this: A party with close fellows, a misguided belief in “off the record,” and history, glorious history.
It goes a long way to explain things. We can reasonably assume that this is what Steve Williams meant when he called Tiger Woods a black a***hole:
"I'm glad I got to stick one up Tiger when Adam Scott won that thing! Am I right, folks?"
That’s it. That’s all Steve Williams was saying. There’s little more to his remarks than cocky chutzpah, inelegantly phrased, and slopped on the public’s plate like so many mess hall dinners.
Yes, it was racist. Incredibly racist. But is Steve Williams a racist person? That's an extra burden of proof the prosecution can't prove with the evidence at hand. We simply can't say with any degree of certainty that Steve Williams is anything other than a guy who said some lousy things. At least in this instance.
Boorish? Loose-lipped? Crass? Almost certainly.
But above all else, let's not let one man's inability to stick his tongue in his cheek without breaking a hole through his face get in the way of a good story.
You don't need subtext to understand that much.
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