Opinion by Patrick Gower
Don't bother with all the other year in reviews that all the other journos do before the year is actually over because they want to be first.
Politics bores the hell out of most punters, so I'll sum it up for you in a few short words:
Politics 2011 was "bloody exciting", and the election campaign was a "battle of the brands".
I've also put together this bloody exciting video of a few highlights from the campaign trail - the great work of editor Marcel Pfister.
But if you need a few more details read on...
THE CALL OF THE YEAR: "Bloody Exciting!" Sean Topham from the Young Nats pulled this out on live television off the cuff on election night. What made it even better was that he was wearing a tuxedo.
A lot of people thought Sean and his crew of junior Tories were bloody scary, but I say he's a good sport and therefore bloody good value. "Show me the money" was another good call.
THE GRAHAM HENRY "JUST SUPERB" AWARD: To Mojo Mathers - Parliament's first deaf MP. Great to see Mojo get sworn in yesterday. She is a true trailblazer, and has busted through a glass ceiling - in fact she's smashed it to smithereens. Mojo is forcing an institution to adapt, and lives her life without barriers. Great stuff Mojo - "just superb".
POLITICIAN OF THE YEAR: Steven Joyce. Politics is about power - nothing else. Power is everything. Steven Joyce was critical in getting John Key and National power. He did this through what I call "joycification". It's a process of risk-free politics that is all about protecting "Brand Key". Joyce helped created and protect Brand Key. Say what you like about it: Brand Key worked - they got power.
BEST BRAND: Brand Key. It's like a bulletproof cloak (is there such a thing?). Whatever it is, if your "brand" cause ladies up and down the country to queue up to give you baking you are doing something right. Obviously they vote for Key too which is a bonus.
SECOND BEST BRAND: The Greens. They got it right, refining and improving the Green brand. They also pulled off one of the biggest political myths I've ever seen, tried to imply there was some possibility of working with National. What a load of codswallop. Robyn Malcolm and Jolyon White told the truth: your garden variety Green hates National's guts.
CONFUSED BRAND: Labour. What do they stand for again? And how do their policies work?
"NEK MINNIT" AWARD: Winston Peters and his quite frankly astonishing comeback. One minute I was effectively writing him off, "nek minnit" he was back in Parliament. I never actually ruled Peters out outright - I know better than that. But a bit like "nek minnit" itself, the novelty and humour of the Peters comeback will probably quickly wear off and he will become uncool.
TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM: Phil Goff. What a trooper. The Camp Davids - Cunliffe, Parker and Shearer - didn't wait for the blood to dry on election night before taking over. Goff did what all the rest of Labour were too gutless to try. Cunliffe may regret for the rest of his life waiting and trying to take over the election.
COMETH THE HOUR COMETH THE MAN?: David Shearer. Who knows how Shearer will go? But he's put his hand up and came from nowhere to take the leadership. He's certainly got cojones. A big story for next year. Lot of work to do.
BIGGEST BRAND IMPLOSION: The ACT Party - from go, whoa. It seemed to go wrong all day long, all year long.
WORST PREDICTION 1: My boss, Duncan Garner, going on the news and saying that Winston Peters was going to stand against John Key in Helensville. Whoops.
WORST PREDICTION 2: Me - going on the news and saying Winston Peters was going to stand in Tamaki. Double whoops.
NERVES OF STEEL: John Banks. Under intense pressure to pull Epsom off. He did the bizzo.
MAORI POLITICS: The Maori Party started the year turfing Hone Harawira out, ending the year with a skirmish around Pita Sharples' leadership. One of my favourite political movements, survival is now the Maori Party's gain. As for Hone - another great political brand - he seems isolated. Harawira is a great campaigner and fighter for his constituency. But hooking up with the ultra-left is an awkward fit - it feels a bit like those funny-looking ties he wears with the weird knot.
THINGS I HATE: Hate is a very strong word. But I hate dirty electorate deals. Epsom and Ohariu first and foremost, because of the rorting that's involved. I also have huge questions about the likes of Green MPs standing and not even voting for themselves. Whatever happened to playing in the spirit of the game? I will fight and highlight dirty electorate deals at the election.
BEST CHRISTMAS SPIRIT: Peter Dunne didn't like it too much when I tried to interview him about his dirty electorate deal. It was probably because he was dressed as Santa at the time, beard and all. One of his henchmen even called me "a grinch". But anyway, Dunne is no grinch - he was one of just five MPs who still have me on their Christmas card list. Thanks Peter - great Christmas spirit.
DECEITFUL BASTARD: Me. Apparently. Allegedly, actually. Still don't actually know why. Oh well, I'm not going to shake this one for a while.
KUDOS TO THE DPS: Total professionals. I've caused the Diplomatic Protection Squad a couple of headaches this year, they didn't get too grumpy and didn't even arrest me... even the time camera operator Matt Smith and I delayed the motorcade in Delhi... I guess they didn't have the powers. But that's a story for another day. Then there was the cheeky interview they let me do with the PM on election night. Cheers team.
MAD DOG: The only blip on the DPS radar this year. Eddie Van Oosten, the man they call "Mad Dog" arm-wrestled one of the PM's bodyguards. To be fair, its not really a blip - Mad Dog is the son of a spinach farmer and arguably one of the strongest men in New Zealand.
BEST DRESSED - MEN: Hone Harawira - and no, not for those weird ties. But for whatever that tuxedo type shirt he wears with no ties every now and then. Never seen anything like it - is it a former "Frank Casey" rental? Anyway, it's out there and I like it.
BEST DRESSED - WOMEN: I'm no expert, but Jacinda Ardern always wears stylish clothes with wonderful colours.
OK now I am commenting about women's dress its obvious I am out of my comfort zone. It's time to wrap this blog up for the year.
All the best, thanks for reading and watching - see you next year. Time for a politics-free summer.
Cheers,
Paddy.