Postcard from John Key

Dear New Zealand

I can’t even begin to tell you how much fun the Whanau (sic) and I are having in New York. The streets aren’t actually paved with gold – but there have certainly been some golden opportunities for the New Zealand tourism industry.

Of course on Thursday I was lucky enough to meet the man himself, Barack Obama. It was a wonderful moment – he spoke to me twice! He even said he loved New Zealand! Bet he didn’t say anything like that to Ahmedinajad or Gadhafi.

Speaking of Gadhafi, the poor tentless soul, I felt some kinship with the former terrorist as I found myself suddenly without amenities. Luckily the Australian Prime Minister leant me his shower. Ruddy and I get on great guns – we are both just your typical bloke: rugby, japes – although he does swear a bit more than I do.

A lifelong ambition was realised on Friday as I was lucky enough to ring the bell that closed the stock exchange. I also got to use the hammer. You can imagine my pride as my family looked on – I may introduce this back at home so Obama can do the same when he visits.

Of course, as you already know, the highlight of my trip was my appearance on the David Letterman Show. The veteran interviewer is known for his cutting style – so I have to confess I was “crapping” it before I went on (sorry, picked that one up from Ruddy). But I thought I held my own. Was a good sport and all that.

Of course I panicked at first and told America they could get a Cinnabon at a New Zealand airport. I know now they haven’t crossed the Pacific – I must have been getting confused, lots of airports recently… one big blur. Jet-lag, bright lights etc.

Still, got to go – I have some real work to do… my first go at addressing the UN – promise not to do a Gadhafi.

Lots of love

John.