A friend asked me yesterday why I was going to see this movie.
It's a fair question - I knew it was going to be terrible and I could've chosen another film to review. I guess I'm just a sucker for punishment, but I also like to occasionally go to see these as they make good movies seem so much better.
Scary Movie 5 is an abysmal film. To call it a parody is an insult to actual parody movies - even calling it a comedy is being very generous. It doesn't parody other movies, it just makes lazy, braindead references to them.
This one takes aim at the Paranormal Activity franchise, a bunch of films that are about three years old - Black Swan, Inception and Rise of the Planet of the Apes - the trailer for Evil Dead and I think it clumsily has a go at Cabin in the Woods at one point, but I'm not sure.
There's also a collection of desperate celebrity cameos, the most tragic of which is Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan. They basically laugh at how ridiculous their real lives are, wink at the camera and hide grimaces as they sell any last shreds of dignity.
Mike Tyson, Usher and Snoop Dogg also embarrass themselves in this.
There's very little funny about Scary Movie 5 and the main thing I felt while watching it was annoyance. It's not so-bad-it's-good, it's just frustratingly bad, and I'm sorry that it exists.
Scary Movie 5
:: Director: Malcolm D Lee
:: Starring: Ashley Tisdale, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Sarah Hyland, Terry Crews, Katrina Bowden, Jerry O'Connell, Kate Walsh, Tyler Posey, Heather Locklear, Snoop Dogg, Mike Tyson, Simon Rex
:: Running Time: 86 mins
:: Rating: M - contains violence,offensive language,drug use and sexual references
:: Release Date: April 11, 2013
:: Trailer: Watch here