By Sasha Maradasz
There is shy, and then there is Kiwi guy shy.
This particular flavour of shy is more confusing than trigonometry. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this topic, because I’ve spent ten years listening to women of all ages and personalities report nearly mirrored stories – Kiwi men don’t hunt.
It’s a strange phenomenon really. How is it that a country overflowing with extreme sports, tattoos, muscles, and testosterone driven Do-It-Yourself attitudes has ended up with men who can easily scale a mountain in their jandals but won’t walk across a room to approach a female?
To give you a good example of this infuriating trend, I had a conversation with one of my best male friends last week. He was stoked, because he’d met a girl at a party.
He’d thought about her all week and decided he wanted to get to know her better but didn’t quite know how to tackle the challenge.
Now, let me add that this guy just received his MBA, so he’s no dummy. He’s book smart, street smart, hot, confident, witty, and basically possesses every characteristic any male would need to have the gonads to chase up a chick.
I started suggesting all the spy skills necessary to track down this girl’s number when he casually threw out, “Oh, I got her number that night. That’s not the problem.”
What?!?!?!? HE HAD HER PHONE NUMBER! One would think this would solve the debacle of, “How do I get to know her better”.
But no, see his problem was that he didn’t know if he should text or call her. He figured both of these options may end up with him having to ask her on a date, and being seen in public together ordering food meant they were engaged. He wanted to contact her without contacting her if you know what I mean…without seeming interested…without any effort that might be misconstrued as…oh I don’t know…LIKING HER!
Cue the pulling of the trigger to empty a barrel of ARE YOU KIDDING ME straight into my brain.
Is this why it’s so difficult to date in New Zealand? Is this the shared thought pattern of Kiwi men?
I don’t have that answer, but I know it sure seems that way. Luckily, you can’t and never should attempt to paint a picture with one brush stroke.
Of course there are men here who are clear with their intentions, who are willing to go after what they want, and who are amazing catches. The difficult part is finding them.
It’s true, the brilliant men aren’t hanging off a bar stool in the Viaduct at 2:30am…. probably. You probably won’t have a Hollywood fantasy come true by dropping a jar of Marmite on the floor in the grocery store only to feel someone else’s hand meet yours, and it turns out to be the world’s hottest man who wants to make babies with you.
It is hard to find the great single men of Auckland, and when you do find them, there's no guarantee they'll act on the opportunity even if they are interested. It's hard to swallow. It's annoying.
It's not fair, but there is a way around it.
I know where the assertive men are. At any one time I have over 400 of them on my books, telling me exactly what they want out of life.
I own Two’s Company and Introduction Agency for genuine single people. My clients research me, meet with me and pay me because they are serious about meeting the right person for a relationship and they are simply just not getting the right opportunities.
This winter, why not relax with a bottle of wine and a hot first date. It beats the winter blues and is as easy as a phone call.
Sasha Madarasz is an Introduction Agent for Two's Company. If you’re currently single and looking for someone fabulous, let Two’s Company take the guesswork out of dating. Find out more at www.twoscompany.co.nz or phone Sasha on 0800 021 522