By Laura Vincent
Which came first, actual mid-afternoon hunger, or marketers of snacks wanting you to eat something during said mid-afternoon? I’m reminded of the scene in an episode of the Simpsons, where execs want to invent a holiday to make people buy more – Spendover and Christmas Two are ideas batted round.
Yet, on a less cynical and more snack-loving note, the hunger is legitimate. Many’s the time I’ve sat at my desk, stomach growling, my remaining brainpower devoted only to imagining the various things I long to eat and the awful acts I’d commit to get my hands on them.
My theory is that when it’s your own time, you eat when you’re hungry and don’t necessarily notice the minutes ticking by – as soon as you’re clocking on to someone else’s schedule, hunger appears swift and strong. You’re expending more energy, be it mental or physical, and – don’t deny it – eating’s a welcome diversion and break from it all.
My advice on mid-afternoon hunger is, first of all: just eat something. I do not see the point in pussyfooting around putting it off or saying “oh I shouldn’t” for whatever reason - you’re going to eat something eventually anyway, so why not eat now? If you don’t, you’ll spend the rest of the crawling minutes till 5pm mentally concocting, as I said, the many things you want to eat right now. A sandwich comprising two freshly baked trays of cornbread filled with a kilo of ham on the bone. A sculpture of the cute IT guy made entirely from chocolate mousse. Oh sure, you can distract your brain with deceptively fragrant fruit-flavoured tea, but with the plummeting blood sugar you’ll probably end up cheerfully signing off on a document so important that your entire job livelihood rests upon it, or accidentally addressing a significant board member as “Mum”.
Now, while some companies might want to make you feel weepily guilty about your desire for lollies so you can eat their sodium-packed flavourless instant soups instead at 3.30pm (you might as well drink your own guilty tears), there are other options. One such option is to be prepared - any of the following are going to help give your brain and your blood sugar a small boost in their own natural way, if you plan ahead slightly.
Firstly, roasted nuts: almonds are meant to be particularly good for you – and not only are they toastily delicious, you can also have fun imagining your hair growing shinier and your nailbeds stronger with every omega-laced individual nut you consume. Just avoid peanuts, apparently something in them makes you a bit sleepy.
Fresh fruit of seasonal fabulousness: I’m not talking about a squeaky old banana or boring dry apple. In summer, the voluptuous, tactile peaches or intoxicatingly scented mangoes. In a few months, feijoas can take you back to a better time when you sat on the porch halving and eating the juicy contents of an endless pile of them.
Even more involved is baking any kind of loaf cake the night before – banana, coconut, pumpkin and blue cheese, whatever really – and then slicing it up, wrapping up little parcels of two slices each. Or one slice, if that’s all you need. Take the slices to work, passive-aggressively name them with a sharpie pen, and freeze – then zap in the microwave whenever you need the solid comforting hit of loaf.
Should you be less prepared, consider your resources. Many offices have a cupboard where you can store boxes of cereal and jars of spreads for eating breakfast half-asleep at your desk – but never underestimate the power of breakfast at a different time. A bowl of cereal or a little something on toast could be just what you need to get through. A tall glass of milk might do the trick.
Depending on where you’re situated, you might be able to get to a supermarket, and then you’ve got the double bonus of stretching your legs and getting fresh air. I would personally opt for something small that feels a bit of a treat – it gives the afternoon snack experience a rakishly continental tone, and you can warm yourself on the jealous glares of your colleagues. Plus it’ll be really delicious. I’m thinking a fresh croissant perhaps, one perfect avocado, an elegant chocolate bar, a jar of pickles, an organic ice block.
Or just eat some lollies! It’s truly not the end of the world, and the sugar crash shouldn’t occur till after you get home, by which stage you can hopefully lie down, or, with the last remaining shred of your energy, make yourself a loaf cake to smugly nibble upon the next day when 3.30-itis hits again.
Laura Vincent is the author of food blog Hungry and Frozen.